ROD was finally over.
It was all smiles.
Fake smiles.
Don't really want to share how I really feel in my blog, but I guess there is nowhere else I can share to.
Never in my life did I felt so angry about myself (first thing I did when I went home today was slam all my badges on the table, throw my belt on the floor, and shout at my mum.)
thought so lowly of myself,
thought that I made the worst decision of my life,
waste a fucking 2 years of my time just to get shit,
am I such a loser.
Everything they said to comfort me, yeah really COMFORT me, made sense.
But think about it.
If you were me, you will never expect yourself to be such a piece of shit.
I mean, *** for ****** camp?
So what?
That prove nothing.
It only shown how I sucked at things.
And what shit.
Was joining OM a wrong thing?
I did not have time to show them what I'm made of?
They jolly well know.
They had to put me there.
You think I really want to skip trainings?
Like seriously, fuck.
Fuck it all.
I just want to achieve what I can by myself.
And live with fake smiles everyday.
I'm sorry.
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